Episodes

I Mean, I'm The F*cking Chosen One (Book 6, Chapters 5-6)

It seems all Kev needed to conquer two chapters for the first time this season was some of Molly Weasley's onion soup. This week, we're talking The Burrow, French Girls, and getting goosed by a Probity Probe. Plus: the Charmin Baby rumor, ring composition, and a visit from Draco MalKev!

Your Puppet Master Is Showing (Book 6, Chapter 4)

Dumbledore's rare form continues this week as he plays Slughorn (and Harry) like a fiddle. The Wilsons return to the subject of The Greatest Wizard of All Time's bathroom habits, Kev casts Slughorn with a very unlikely actor, and Sluggy's hometown is re-christened...Budlight Bubblebath.

I'm Not A Fatalist, I'm A Farmer (Book 6, Chapter 3)

Another day, another Dumbledore FLEX chapter. This week, The Wilsons are celebrating his annihilation of The Dursleys and their incredibly bad manners as they dive into Chapter 3 of Half Blood Prince, 'Will and Won't'. Is Hogwarts just an orphanage for unwanted house elves? Why are both Amanda and Kev falling asleep during major medical tests? And oh hey Kevin Bacon!

To Catch A Death Eater (Book 6, Chapter 2)

It's time for Spinner's End and fair warning there are a LOT of threesome jokes.  Does Kev believe a word Snape is saying to Bellatrix and Narcissa? And what did he get REALLY wrong about the Unbreakable Vow? Plus, Amanda and Kev talk roller skating songs, history in the Wizarding World, and Nicholas Cage.

Government Secrets (Book 6, Chapter 1)

WE’RE BACK FOXIES! It’s time for Season 6, and Kev has set us a slow pace from the jump when he decided The Other Minister was so chock-full of conspiratorial goodness it deserved it’s own episode. We’re talking cover-ups, Billy Bob Thornton, our complete ineptitude with British government, and of course- aliens.

Episode of Requirement: Owl Post!

This week, The Wilsons are tackling some listener questions that didn't make it into Season 5. What are the rules about metamorphmagi? Where would Amanda and Kev go on wizarding vacation? How does having and not having ADHD i...

Old Man Jessica: The Kevlawney Prophecy Round-Up of Book 5

We've wrapped up another book and you know what that means! It's time for another review of everything the great Seer Kevlawney got right, wrong, and in-between throughout Season 5. Join us as we revisit every Book 5 prophecy...

David YEETS (Order of the Phoenix: The Movie)

The Wilsons may have read the final words of Book 5, but that doesn’t mean they’re done with The Order of The Phoenix just yet. It’s time for another MOVIE EPISODE! And while Amanda and Kev have some big compliments to give, ...

Limbo (Conclusion of Book 5)

It's the final chapter of Order of the Phoenix and The Wilsons are reflecting on which war is beginning at this moment and why it's not the one you think, Harry is a ghost, weird centaur sex stuff, ice dancing, and the band ...

Yeah No: Part 2 (Book 5, Chapter 37)

The Wilsons are back to Mortal Kombat "FINISH HIM" your feelings with the second half of "The Lost Prophecy" and for good measure Amanda's accepting Dumbledore's apologies but keeping him the hook for a few things, Kev's got ...

Yeah No: Part 1 (Book 5, Chapter 37)

For the first time in FFH history, a single chapter requires two weeks to cover. There are just that many emotions. It's time for Kev (and Harry too we suppose) to learn the truth about The Lost Prophecy, and The Wilsons are ...

Dumbledore Has Entered The Chat (Book 5, Chapter 36)

It's time for the epic showdown between old Snakeface and the only one he ever feared and there's a lot to unpack. But before that, we gotta twist last week's knife just a little bit more by dissecting the gut-punch that is h...

The Godfather (Book 5, Chapters 34-35)

Guys, if you skip Beyond The Veil it doesn’t change the outcome. The Golden and Silver Trios have made it to the Department of Mysteries, where noses will be broken and tears will be shed. Join us as we talk baby-headed Death...

Clevah Girl (Book 5, Chapters, 32-33)

It's been a totally normal and completely uneventful week here in America, there's absolutely nothing to see here, definitely nothing causing anxiety and OH what a coincidence it's the same deal at ol' Hoggy Warty Hogwarts. J...

Giant Boy (Book 5, Chapters 30-31)

It's a new year, and The Wilsons are barreling through two chapters faster than Hagrid on his way to visit the 16-foot tall burden he's about to put on a couple of children. But beyond Grawp and the West Side Centaur Story, y...

Weasleys' Weasleys (Book 5, Chapter 29)

Harry's having an existential crisis and the only cure is a highly illegal conversation with his escaped convict godfather! The Wilsons are tackling Chapter 29 as their last episode of 2020 before they send this year back to ...

The Ego Tree and The Ego Apple (Book 5, Chapter 28)

There are defining moments in every young man's life- first kisses, new friends, overcoming fears, and learning that your dead dad was a really huge asshole at 15. This week, The Wilsons are diving into the uncomfortable void...

Horse Pants (Book 5, Chapter 27)

Kids, get in here. The time has come for Ma and Pa to have a talk about Hermione. Look- it's not that we don't love our favorite curly-haired, blackmailing, hunger-striking child genius. It's just that we find her recent tact...

We're Havin' A Party, F*ck The Dark Lord (Book 5, Chapter 26)

Rita Skeeter's (*ahem* unpaid, see last week's episode) work is done and Harry's a bona fide Quibbler cover story! Besides the obvious deep dives into Harry's dreams, your hosts are also talking Harry/Voldemort rap battles, r...

We're Both Orphans! (Book 5, Chapter 25)

In honor of Valentine’s Day in the Wizarding World, The Wilsons are having some good old fashioned married-people fights! Round 1: Amanda vs Kev in The Battle of Madame Puddifoots! Round 2: Amanda vs Kev in The Battle of Fair...

Mental Dam (Book 5, Chapter 24)

It’s time for Occlumency lessons, and it may be late but it’s still chock full of Snape-hating, literary interpretation, and inappropriate penetration jokes! Join the Wilsons as they talk meditation, terrible Netflix shows th...

Short Delay This Week!

Listen up! This week's episode is still coming your way this week- just a day or two later than normal. Keep an eye on social media and your favorite podcast source for when it drops! Support the show (http://patreon.com/thef...

It's British Christmas! (Book 5, Chapter 23)

It’s that special time of year we all know and love- softly-falling snow, biscuits in the oven, fairy lights gently twinkling all around. The kind of season in which wishes come true and nothing could possibly go wrong. Join...

Ginny and The Jets (Book 5, Chapter 22)

Flashback to Election Night 2020, and The Wilsons were distracting themselves by tackling the next chapter in Order of The Phoenix . And considering copious amounts of bourbon were involved, things got a bit weird. What are s...